I read a book called The Joyful Child the other day. It was all about what you, as a parent, can do to meet the developmental needs of your child. It talks about how you can make sure that you are setting your child up for success – by the things you do with them (or the things that they do on their own) and how you can create a space in your home for them to allow them to thrive.
What I took away from the book is that parenting is hard and we all wish to have that perfect, joyful child just by what we put in our homes and by the activities that we enroll them in, but that doesn’t always happen and it doesn’t really happen naturally (for most), either. When you become a parent, you only want the best for your child and you want to DO IT ALL. You want to provide them with exactly what they need to succeed and you want to be there to do it all with them. But, along the way, you realize that you have things to do and people to see and you feel like you are not doing enough. That feeling of not doing enough is inevitable. If you are a mother, or a father, or a human (cough, cough – everyone), you will feel like you are not doing enough at some point in your life…or maybe many times in your life.
This is, unfortunately, when the comparison game begins. You start comparing your child to their friends, and/or you start comparing what you are doing within your motherhood journey to the mom that is able to “do it all.” But what you don’t know is that to your child, you ARE doing it all and you are the only one who can do it all for them. Also, that mom that you are comparing yourself to that “does it all” feels the same way that you do. Maybe not about the same things, but she has the same feelings of not being enough and not doing enough. It’s a natural feeling that everyone experiences.
You love your kids with all of your heart and the journey is a great adventure that you and your husband or wife is on together, but it is not easy and it is not for the faint of heart. You might feel like you are not doing enough, but you are. You are doing more than enough, mama, and you are amazing! Here are a few things that you can and should do for yourself each day to help you feel like you are enough:
See Through Your Child’s Eyes
It can be easy to get frustrated each day. You do the same things over and over again and usually, there is a lot of crying, messes, and sometimes yelling involved, too. Instead of focusing on what went wrong during your day (like when your kid spilled cereal all over your freshly mopped floors), try seeing the events through their eyes. To them, what you might think is messy could be one of their most memorable moments that week. If they got hurt from not listening and you ran by their side, exhausted, to hug and comfort them, that might be one of their most cherished moments that week – snuggling with YOU. The things that we think are tedious, exhausting, and sometimes frustrating are some of the most memorable and special moments for your kids.
Have Some R&R
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Every parent needs time to recharge and that is why I think that it is absolutely essential to have some rest and relaxation. Prioritizing yourself is extremely important when you are going through the thick of your motherhood journey and giving yourself time to rest is the best way to come back to your normal feeling like you are doing enough and you are ready to do more. While resting looks different to everyone, some ideas are to go on a mini-trip, have a spa day (at the spa, or at your home), taking a long, hot bath at the end of each day, making yourself a cup of tea or wine to unwind, etc. Whatever you choose to do to relax, make sure it recharges you!
Prioritize Your Marriage
Prioritize your relationship, or your marriage. There is not a second that goes by that thinks that I could do this alone. Parenting is one of the hardest and most rewarding experiences of my life, but I could not do it alone. At the end of the day, this is a team job and in order to work as a team, we need to be on the same page, which means that our marriage is of the utmost importance. As a parent and as a team, prioritizing your marriage (or relationship) needs to happen one way or another. I know that things can get hectic and busy in the blink of an eye, but try your best to go on that date night or mini-trip, or at least find a time each day to connect and unwind together.
Work On Your Mental Health
Have I gotten my point across yet? Parenting is hard. With parenthood, comes a lot of emotions and feelings that arise, starting from the very first day. Postpartum depression is real and a lot of people go through life battling their depression, without getting any help. If you go down this path, it is lonely and it is hard. Admitting that you need help from a counselor such as Ray of Hope Counseling Services can be terrifying, but it can also help so much.
Ray of Hope Counseling Services has many therapists who are skilled in a myriad of life changes and challenges. I recommend searching through their therapists to find a good fit for you. For example, Lynn Thompson Umstead is the founder and clinical director of Ray of Hope Counseling Services. She is a trained mental health professional, with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Psychology and a Master’s of Science degree in Clinical Psychology. Lynn strives to meet clients where they are. She helps the client navigate through their past to help with a better understanding toward how to achieve goals for a happier healthier life. She also has extensive training and experience working with relationship issues and is a Certified Imago Couples Counselor. Her educational training is primarily cognitive-behavioral, which means your thoughts and behaviors will be a focus in the therapy process. However, Lynn is eclectic in her approach in order to meet the individual needs of her clients. She believes exploring your emotions and feelings is of utmost importance. If you are searching for therapy Lawrenceville, Ray of Hope Counseling Services is a great place to start your search.
Disclosure of Material Connection: This is a "sponsored post." The company who sponsored it compensated me via a cash payment, gift, or something else of value to write it. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."
